Leaving Las Vegas

Not an original sign

Ah Las Vegas, Sin City and the Entertainment Capital Of The World. It is the iconic city of debauchery, nudity and gambling. Supposedly where everything and anything goes, which is partly true – if you can afford it.

To be fair to the countless people that have been to the city before me and spent some real time as drunken tourists, I’m not going to go too much into what you can expect from the city itself. You’ve seen the movies and heard the stories, so you know that you are going to be staying in a luxurious yet cheesy hotel, drinking on the streets 24 hours a day and gambling your balls off.

Gambling being the top priority of course, as is evident when you first step off the plane only to be greeted by dozens of rows of slot machines. It all begins and ends right there, with a flashing light and ringing bell.

Las Vegas (The Meadows in Spanish for you intellectual types) really is a city like no other in the United States. The only purpose of it being there at all is to provide entertainment and a surreal getaway from regular life.

Valley of Fire

My trip was just under a week, flying a one stopper from Orlando. I have this (dis)advantage in that my wife lived in the city for eight years and pretty knows it inside and out, and more importantly still has friends there who gave us a room to stay.

Imagine the anti-climax of being whisked away to a magical place that I’ve seen on the silver screen my whole life, and staying in an apartment in the suburbs.

That was the downside, the upside was that if you work in Vegas, you apparently know everyone or at least know their friends. So we ate for free, drank for free and walked past lines at every club we visited – viva las suburbs.

I can’t describe the city as anything but Vegas. It’s not beautiful or particularly well kept. There’s a lot of lights of course which adds to a vibe that really cannot be explained, it’s just…a vibe.

Being older and more sophisticated we both opted for some cultural outdoor activities for the majority of our trip.

Number one on the agenda was the Valley of Fire. This is a state park probably about a thirty minute drive from the Strip and exists within an Indian reservation. Extremely beautiful, ancient rock formations and most importantly peaceful and quiet. Apparently most locals haven’t been there or even know about it – nature isn’t exactly a big reason for people moving to Vegas in the first place.

Grand Canyon

Our second trip was to the Grand Canyon. This is definitely only recommended if you have a lot of time, it’s not doable if you are just in Vegas for a weekend. First things first, rent a car with unlimited mileage as it’s about a four hour drive into Arizona.

The drive is beautiful in an unconventional way. Within the first hour you get to drive over Hoover Dam, and that is really a great spot to stop and just take in the view. Some great photo opportunities and even a tour if you want.

The Mojave desert was a unique experience for me, small diners popped up along the route that looked as if they had not been updated since the 40’s or 50’s. There was also the opportunity to drive along Route 66 (what’s left of it) for a few miles.

We arrived at our hotel (5 miles from the canyon) late at night, but were up early in the morning to take in the view. The time of year was perfect, a little chilly but at least no sweltering heat. There are no words to describe the canyon itself, just look at the pictures.

The rest of our trip was typical Vegas, we gambled a little (only lost $50), ate a lot and drank significantly.

And here are my tips:

1. Hotels are cheap for a reason – eating and drinking is very expensive, so budget for it accordingly
2. Try to get out of the city and see sites like Hoover Dam, Red Rock Canyon, Valley of Fire. Car rental is very reasonable.
3. Take in a show, I didn’t, but it’s something you have to do at least once, if only to say you did.
4. Be prepared to tip! Most people make their livings from tips alone, so they expect them and they expect a lot, like 20%. It’s just the way it is, I hate it but you can’t fight it. Tip valet, doormen at clubs, waiters, servers, hosts, cleaning people and bums.
5. If you are a single man and a beautiful girl is giving you attention, she’s a hooker.
6. If you are a single woman and a guy is giving you attention, he thinks you’re a hooker.