I have figured out one downfall to moving around too much. After three countries in seven years, and numerous residences along the way, the size of my social posse has taken a serious beating.
And this is not a whining session that a mother would hear from an pre-teen geek who has no friends. No, I’ve always kept a small number of friends close to me at any one time – some are here, some are there and separation talks are still underway with one or two of them.
I’m trying my best to be diplomatic and not insult anyone – so if you’re reading this and questioning anything, don’t worry – you’re in the inner circle.
What we (and that’s my wife and I – I’m not royalty yet) are missing are those type of acquaintances who are not quite best friends, but also not just drinking buddies. And we realise it more and more as out birthdays come around. They used to be big affairs for me, with everyone from work to old school friends arriving – now I’m thinking of a quiet dinner with two or three bottles of wine for everyone to share (and without a funnel).
The traditional way to meet these types of friends are through work and university, simple as that. An old boss once told me that over a beer one Friday afternoon – and even though I would rather never speak to him again, he was absolutely right.
So there’s our problem, school is long over, so scratch that idea. I work from home with no physical office to go to and my wife works just for her boss so not many options there. So let me make some more excuses.
Now without getting into a discussion over cultural differences, I have to admit that we really have found it difficult finding other people with the same mentality as us. Part of the problem, in my opinion, is that we live in a University/Tourist area. And as we don’t go out looking for bargains on beer at seedy bars or necessarily enjoy seeing Mickey Mouse every day, we either need to adjust our thoughts or look harder.
Plan “B” would be to meet friends of friends, but with just a very small group to start – the process is a little slow.
Another option we explored was getting to know other young married couples.
This is where it get’s weird. Other couples would be the best option to grow our social circle, we automatically have something in common, but as my cousin-in-law says, “it’s just like dating”. There’s too much to take into account. That’s four people to make happy, things to do, places to go – and all the while trying not to come across as swingers.
And we have to be picky. Couples must be serious enough, we don’t want them breaking up and leaving us to choose who to keep later down the line.
The next step then is to just get out there, and we have joined groups relating to our interests. Photography sessions here and there, hiking once in a while and the occasional wine tasting. That’s when we figured out it’s not so much a problem of meeting people and making new friends – it’s just the change in lifestyle that we are going through together.
Either that or we’ve lost our social appeal and are destined to spend weekends with our dog until we have kids and start attending soccer games and practices three times a week.